


Distant Field

by ChineseCabbage



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Based on a Vocaloid Song, DaiSuga as adults, Future Fic, M/M, Modelling, Not Beta Read, Pining Sawamura Daichi, brief appearance of Asahi and Suga's parents and mentions of the others, but it mostly DaiSuga conversations, model!suga, sarishinohara au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 12:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13387500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChineseCabbage/pseuds/ChineseCabbage
Summary: It happens much, much later after the volleyball days, when Daichi realizes that he's in love with Suga. But it's already too late, probably, as he sees how Suga grows up too further away from his reach.Loosely based from Mikito-P's vocaloid song, Sarishi no Hara (Distant Field).





	Distant Field

If someone ever said to Daichi ten years ago that his life would turn the way it is today, he would laugh it off and taking it as a good joke.

He lived his days for volleyball back then, and the future—the one where he’s no longer a high-school student worrying over volleyball tournament, but an active taxpayer member of the society—seemed would only happen in a million years of another universe; it’s so far and unimaginable and full of uncertainty. But somehow Daichi managed to live through it better than his small prediction. He graduated. He attended local university. He worked for a small branch of a multi-national company in his town, and somehow later, he got promoted to its main office at Tokyo.

And now, at 28, he lives a stable life in one of the busiest city in the world.

But still, it's a too much to say that his life changes for a drastic measure. Because if there's one between his peers that takes a major, U-turn leap in their life, it is Sugawara Koushi.

 

*

 

This was one of the moments that Daichi remembered the most from his last days in high schools.

"I will attend a university in Tokyo after we graduate,” announced Suga casually as he fixed the scarf around his neck. The weather wasn’t deathly freezing anymore but it’s not warm either in Karasuno.

Asahi stopped taking steps with his feet and stared at Suga right away. Daichi munched his pork buns.

"What? That's so sudden."

"No, it's not. I've been thinking about it for quiet some times already. If I'm staying in Karasuno, I might only end up taking over my family's business after I graduated from college," explained Suga, “but I kinda... wanna try a life outside my boundaries, you know? And after we went there for Spring Tournament, Tokyo seems cool."

It's funny to recall how nervous Asahi with the idea when he's not the one who's leaving.

"But still," he said, "out of us, it’s _you_!"

"Eeh, what do you mean by that?" Suga pouted.

"Right, Daichi? We're talking about _Suga_ here!"

Daichi laughed after finally gulped the last remain of pork bun in his mouth, “what? Suga might take care of himself better than you."

Suga giggled for that remark, "Daichi, you’re the best!"

"Daichi, you should waver him a little, saying that we will miss him and he can't check the volleyball team as often as he wants if he goes to Tokyo."

He couldn’t recall what he said after that back then, except that he and Suga mocked Asahi as usual and they laughed together in silly youthfulness.

But—he still could remember this one—after Asahi left at a crossroad to his house, he walked with Suga, side by side. They were quiet for so long until both could see Daichi’s house at the distance. His little siblings hung around outside, clearly had been waiting for Daichi to come back from his school, and now waved excitedly at the sight of both of them came into their view. Suga chuckled and waved back, so did Daichi.

That’s when he asked, "if I—me, and Asahi—said that it's hard for us to let you go to Tokyo easily, will you still go?"

Suga’s face was unusually poker that time, as he replied, "hmm … no, not really.”

“I see,” says Daichi flatly.

Turned out Suga didn’t finish his sentence yet, as he continued while looking at the sky with an unreadable expression, “… but it might make me miss you guys more."

Daichi chuckled, “if you ever need to run back here crying when things get too tough, be my guest."

"Daichi, rude,” grumbled Suga, and then his attention turned to Daichi’s little sister who called Suga’s name and ran to his hug, wondered if Suga could stay for dinner with them today _pleasepleaseplease_ —

And Daichi thought, maybe, he should grab that hand when it was still within his reach.

 

*

 

Daichi wished he had stated it more clearly; that he would miss Suga. The first few months of life after high school seems hard with each of them stumbled on their own chosen path alone. And it's easy to miss the good, old volleyball days with pork buns after club and silly jokes thrown along on their way back home.

After high school ended, suddenly life turned serious and adult-like and it’s hard to adjust into. College is different, so different. Students got different classes in different time, the schedule wasn’t set for Monday to Friday and 8 AM to 4 PM. And Daichi never realize how lonely a school life could be without students moving all together according to the ringing sound of the school’s bell.

It was even harder for Suga maybe, who didn't just need to get used with his new college routine, but also adjusted with foreign places, foreign environments, foreign faces, and foreign paces. His first few LINE chats to Daichi were often about how he lost his way in Tokyo's confusing subway route and wondered in what restaurants and convenience stores he could get a discount with student ID. It was a lie if Daichi said it didn’t made him worried a little.

Sometimes later, Suga's texts started to mentions Kuroo Tetsurou (that cunning captain) a lot. About how he helped Suga in college (surprise! They went to the same university), and share Suga some easy life hacks ("who knows he has broad knowledge on that area?"). It was also a lie if sometimes, it didn’t make Daichi regretting that he didn't choose Tokyo as well.

But at least, it’s a relieve that Suga managed to work out this whole living alone thing, slowly. And after a year, what was used to be regular chats and updates now has turned only occasional, as their now different life got busy ahead of them. It was in one of those occasional late-night call sessions, when Suga asked him about what would start to be his big U-turn.

"Hey, what if you found my photos on the medias someday? Will it freak you out?"

"It depends ..." Daichi dropped his pen to the review he needed to finish tonight, his left shoulder held the phone to stay on his cheek, "... on the headline."

Suga laughed, "the first thing that comes to your mind is headline?"

"If a normal guy suddenly makes an appearance on the medias, isn't it because he's involved in something illegal?"

Suga didn’t give further answer, and Daichi could sense that Suga was smiling at the other side of the call. In the end, he asked, "what is it?"

"Nothing, it's just a talent scout asked me to join their agency today,” answered Suga a little too fast than usual, yet still trying his best to sound cheery and nonchalantly casual.

All thoughts about the homework he needed to work and finish before Monday morning flied through the window.

" _What?_ "

"Don't make me repeat the answer, it's embarrassing …” murmured Suga.

"… It's not just 'nothing', Suga,”

"Yeah, I'm really good in humble-bragging these days,” Suga chuckled nervously, trying to lightened up the mood and probably changed the topic, because he realized that it’s indeed embarrassing, even if it’s Daichi he was talking to. But the other line was worryingly silence, so Suga asked, “umm, Daichi …? Are you still there?”

Daichi found himself still lost at words. He opened and closed his mouth before finally found a good question to be checked, "Uh … are you sure it's not a scam?"

Suga laughed again, "I know, right? It's too unbelievable and easier to think that it's a scam. But apparently, it’s not. The invitation came from my friend's scout. They scheduled a photoshoot for a new line up for next season but one of the models couldn't make it so my friend asked me--"

"Hold on, you're using past tense."

"Yup. It already happened, you see, the modelling things ...." Suga dragged his answers. And Daichi could imagine how Suga scratched his head awkwardly about it. He didn’t know how to respond for this sudden development, so Suga decided to continue his story, “so yeah, after the photoshoot, the scout asked me if I want to join their agency or not …."

It's a good thing they didn’t do video call today. It would be awkward if Suga found how wide his gaped mouth was as his face went blank at the moment.

“Err, why?” asked Daichi in the end, couldn’t hide the dumbfounded tone in his voice.

“I don’t know! I don’t even know why my friend asked me to stand in for her colleague! She just said that I suit the criteria or something like that, and they probably found me okay despite I was being horribly stiff for the whole session—“

Daichi forgot what the rest of the sentence, sadly. Suga’s voice was muted down as he’s lost in his thought.

Daichi never really paid attention on how people looked, so he didn’t know how much prettiness or perfection needed from a person to be considered model-worthy. It was probably in Seijou’s Oikawa Tooru level. Girls were swooning of how handsome he was (on the appearance at least. His personality is not so much, at least for Daichi) once he appeared on the court. But, Suga didn’t seem to fall in the same category with Oikawa, too. As in, Daichi never saw a dozen of young woman lining up before Suga to give him valentine chocolates or a chance for selfies.

But Suga was, indeed, a charming person. Or refreshing, probably. Daichi wasn’t sure about his judgement. And he always thought that he’s probably the _only_ one who thought how pleasing it was to stare at the lean body, pale skin, big and soft brown eyes, light-colored hair strands, the beauty mark under his right eye … and that kind smile that’s hard to be not stared for too long without crossing the borderline of being creepy. Not to mention, Suga managed to grow another inch during the time where they didn’t meet each other on daily basis. Daichi always thought that it was Suga’s secret charm or something—a secret for him, at least.

But turned out he’s not the only one.

"Daichi, you're so quiet. Say something,” Suga interrupted his thought.

Too taken aback to understand what’s going on for the last sixty second, Daichi could only response with a pathetic, "err, what?"

"I asked you, what do you think with the modelling stuff?"

_Don't do it._

"Rather than my opinion, how about yourself opinion first?"

Suga sighed and dragged his answer as he thoughtfully considering and picking his words, “well.... it pays quiet well. Better than any part time jobs I ever take."

Daichi snorts a laugh, “and?"

"It's been 2 years since we’re in college—"

(Daichi remembered how his stomach pathetically flipped at the thought that despite all things changed in their life, there's still something that they could labeled with _'we'_.)

"—But I still don't know what kind of job interests me, what I want to do in the future ...."

 _So, the answer is already settled, then,_ Daichi thought solemnly.

"Daichi, do you think—can I use this chance to try something ... different?"

Daichi didn’t want to admit how he was flinched a little at the word _different_. It was haunting him how maybe another _difference_ would widen the already wide gap of him and Suga, resulted from an inevitable cause named growing up. But it was ridiculous, to think like that. _Ridiculous and childish_. So Daichi decided to laugh it off, “Since when I need to give you permission about your life choice, Suga?"— _even if he kinds of wanted to_ — "you should ask your parents first instead."

"Yeah, I’ll call them later. It's just ... somehow I feel nervous."

It’s flattering that he’s the one who heard this news, and the one Suga turned into when he felt uncertain.

To be fair, even Daichi also felt a bit nervous with this huge chapter unrevealed. Modelling was not something he, or their friends and family, familiar with. It's a world far away from their mundane life. And to think Suga would enter that foreign universe all by himself ... it made him nervous from worried just slightly—it didn’t like Suga could ask him for work advices and the likes later, did he?

 _Ridiculous_ , Daichi’s logic snarled at himself, _this is Suga, and he probably got more guts than you._

“It’s your life, Suga,” Daichi repeated, holding back all those silly frowns and refusals from his voice, “do whatever you think is right for you,” and Daichi was even dare to add, “and it’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance, probably. So you can consider it too.”

Daichi could hear how Suga smile as he answered, “such an answer, Daichi. You’re still as the same as ever.”

 _No,_ refuted Daichi in the back of his head, _I have turn to be a big fat liar._

"Oh, if you're planning to tell Asahi, please relay to me his reactions,” is what Daichi said instead.

“Don’t worry. I won’t disappoint you, captain.”

The playful conversation continued for a few minutes more before Suga decided to call it a night and cut the line. And somehow Daichi felt even lonelier than before, which he tried to brush it off. Suga might go for modelling, acting, singing, or any part of the glamorous showbiz world. _But Suga is still Suga_ , his best friend who he could reach anytime he thought he needed to give him life-updates ....

... Could he?

 

*

 

A call from Suga’s mother arrived on his phone few days later. Usually the mother, whom Suga got his chatter personality from, would call Daichi only to rant about the newest updates from her son. And Daichi had been wondering for this past few days about that soon-to-be-received phone call.

"... Suddenly saying _'mom, dad, your son will become a model! Throw me a party the next time I come home, okay?'_ out of sudden like that? That kid is the master of making his parents worried sick!"

Daichi chuckled apologetically, "yeah, I'm sorry, aunty."

"Oh no, Daichi-kun. I bet even _you_ already think how handful he is! Seriously, he's too laid back about his life. Suddenly wants to go to Tokyo … suddenly becomes a model. I can't keep track of what's going on in his head."

"Well, that's how Koushi is."

 _You only live once_ , Suga usually said, _I don't want to have any regret._

Again, for unknown reason, Daichi felt a little bit happy that among 8 billion people in this vast world, he's the only one who knew how worried, insecure, and uncertain Suga felt about his life choice sometimes. It felt good to be a bit special for someone who will become so special.

And something in Daichi's head _clicked_. Realization hits him hard with a slap.

Oh.

_Oh._

_Oh, shit._

How many years again he has been dying to be a little _special_ in Suga’s life?

And then it became hard to pay attention for the words Suga’s mother saying on the line when his cellphone suddenly felt a thousand times heavier in his hand.

 

*

 

He saw a familiar face weeks later as he visited Tokyo in summer.

It was Suga, with some other models, posing with casual summer clothes in LED banners at the subway, promoting a new clothing line.

 _Wow, it's really happening, isn’t it?_ Daichi’s head whispered, starstruck for a second.

He stared at Suga who gave his usual kind and warm smile at the banner for maybe a bit too long, before rushing to Suga's flat at the nearest suburbs.

Before letting his mind felt _anything_ that could burden him with melancholy later, Daichi decided to rather mock Suga about the banner later once he arrived on his house.

Suga—Daichi assured himself—is still, and always, within his reach.

*

 

“The guy in the middle is kinda cute, don’t you think?”

“I thought so! His smile is really charming!”

It was an indescribable feeling, Daichi thought as he heard a group of teenagers talking about the new clothing line ads banner, to see from the sidelines how something that was once just his little secret, now becomes everyone’s property to see.

 

*

 

"I'm sorry I can't help you moving out to your new apartment."

"For a thousand times already; it's fine." Daichi, now 28, loosening up his tie and walks his way to the balcony, "besides, the whole Japan might kill me if I make _the_ Sugawara Koushi moving furniture."

Suga’s chuckles chime through the phone as he says, "they’re probably gonna steal the furniture I've touched."

Daichi raises his eyebrow out of suspicion and swallows back _‘how's Hong Kong?’_. Because, where does that kind of statement come from?

“Had it happened?"

Suga notices the out-of-sudden serious tone and he tries to laugh it off, "well … I've lost 2 underwears already, it's too much for a coincidence. My manager has arranged me to move out to a new apartment with better security system."

To Daichi, it's not something to be laughed easily at all, "is it worth it?"

"Is something worth for what?"

"Losing underwears, stalkers, gossips, paparazzi, zero privacy?"—and the other twenty or so things Daichi can point out if he wants to.

From the rustling sounds from the other side of the line, Suga might stretches first before comes back to his call, "I'm fine, Daichi. Thank you. And the same can goes for you too. Is it worth it? The stress, the overtimes, the all-nighters, the lack of personal time? I heard from Tanaka now you're smoking when your work is loaded."

Daichi is startled and drops his cigarette to the balcony floor. It's been so long since the last time he listens to that _nagging_ tone from Suga. And it still makes him kind of nervous. Like he has done something bad and he should be ashamed for it. Feeling guilty, Daichi steps on the half-burnt cigarette so the flame dies out.

Suga somehow can sense what he did and clicking his tongue, "ah, I guess _that_ already; you were smoking this whole time.”

Daichi sighs, and then doesn’t even hide how he lit another one as his secret is now leaked, "okay. My lose. And why the hell Tanaka still relay reports to you?"

"You always said I have my own charming way to our underclassmen."

Daichi laughs as he imagines Suga acting all-proud and all while saying the words. And it triggers Suga’s laugh too. But then, once the silliness dies down, he sighs, "guess we're really adults now, huh?"

Daichi snorts, "... and they said I'm the slow one. We've been adults for the last 10 years in case if you didn't realize it's happening."

"Ah, it's already been that long, huh."

"You can count all your commercial contracts, just in case."

Suga replies with an airy laugh, "yeah, I should stick them on my wall instead of calendar, geez."

The small jokes continue for a short while, and then Daichi inhales a smoke from his cigarette before he’s back to the conversation.

"Is it true?" He asks. The question has become their new routine and Suga can understand the context clearly despite the ambiguous question.

"Which one?” Suga offers, “the one that said I'm dating an idol 10 years my junior, or the one that said I will have a guest role in afternoon drama?"

Daichi hasn’t even heard about the idol-dating one, so he goes with, "both."

"The first one is because we work together as presenters for music program, the second one... well, the director offers the role to me, and the agency thought it’s a good opportunity too. There aren’t much modelling gigs for someone near 30 … but I don't know—oh! By the way, Daichi, guess who’s my work-partner in Hong Kong for the next 3 days?"

"Who? Justin Timberlake?" offers Daichi nonchalantly.

"I will _flip_ if I work with someone on his tier. So, no. And Justin Timberlake is kinda out of date."

"Well, I don't have a degree in entertainment news,” Daichi shrugs, and Suga probably rolls his eyes on his hotel king-size bed in Hong Kong.

"It's Oikawa Tooru. And he's as tall as Tokyo Tower now."

"Or maybe it's you who gets shorter."

"Daaiiichiiii ..." –Suga must be pouting sleepily right now, how cute. Daichi snorts a laugh for that thought.

"Well, there's a rumor saying you fake your height--"

"If you're still gonna bring that back in every call, I'll block your number."

“I won’t stop and you won’t block my number, I know.”

“Such confidence,” sulks Suga, or maybe he’s getting sleepier.

"So, you're really _fine_ , huh?"

Suga stretches his body again and sighs out a yawn before answers, “as fine as you who starts to become a chain smoker from pent-up stress."

"Our cases are different. I don't have to work in front of a camera zooming in my face 12 hours a day."

"Yeah. My manager might scowl on how much followers I lose on Twitter if I start smoking too."

"... Is that an approval for me to smoke?"

"Since when I need to give you permission about your life choice, Daichi?"

Daichi laughs at the familiar line and Suga catches up fast but drowsy, “you still remember that one."

Daichi exhales a bitter smoke, "let's hang up, Suga. You need your sleep."

Suga groans drowsily. "Sorry. And it's been, what, weeks? ... Since the last time I called you?"

"3 months,” corrects Daichi casually. 3 months, 5 days, and 23 hours.

"Definitely weeks."

"See you later, Suga.”— _until you have the time to call me again._

"Take care, Daichi."

"By the way, have you seen the large billboard around your apartment?"

"This is Tokyo. It's full of large billboards. And aren’t you supposed to be sleepy?"

"I forgot to mention this one, and no … I mean, there's this suuuuper big one around your address. Come on, Daichi, I know you're kinda slow, but it has my face plastered on it. It's easy to find."

"Oh, that one," Daichi responds, as casual as possible. In fact, he has been staring to that billboard all the time from his balcony, mumbling his good morning and good night to Suga who tilts his head from profile view and smiles happily to the camera. There's a big bottle of eau de cologne right beside him and sunflowers decorates the background. And Daichi takes a note to hide that exact same bottle in his closet, if Suga visits his house later (someday, when he finally gets day off from his pilling contracts). Daichi doesn't know much about perfume and the likes, but the fresh, airy liquid does somehow smells like Suga—feels like him too, maybe.

"Yeah, that one," replies Suga over the phone. "Your apartment area is one of the best area in Tokyo, it's really hard to get a slot on that billboard, you know. And you can't pick just any brand and any celebrity to be on it."

Daichi inhales his cigarette again as Suga continues, “I can't show my face on that billboard if my reputation or my name isn’t good or big enough to make it. Which means, as long as you see me there, more or less, I'm fine, okay? So stop being a worrywart. I'll kick you if I find you lose weight more than this."

Daichi chuckles, how he yearns to hear that nagging with its real voice again, “yes mom."

"Don't smoke too much."

"I know."

"Sleep regularly."

"Yes."

"Eat well ...."

"Will do."

"...."

"...."

"...."

"... Suga?"

He falls asleep again without hangs up the phone, it seems.

Daichi finishes his cigarettes and decides to call it a night too. He leaves the balcony. And as usual, he takes one last look at the Suga who smiles brightly at him. The brightest star under polluted sky.

Suga used to fill small LED banners on the subway, a place that was easy for him to reach. After years, he moved from one magazines to fashion catalogues to another, and then to a tall 6 feet print-outs in department store, to televisions commercials, to radio hosting and TV presenting gigs, to small but promising rolls in afternoon dramas and movies. And now he gets even higher to the sky, on a billboard between skyscrapers.

Each time, the more Daichi stretches his hand, it feels like Suga leaps even far away from him, before falls back again to earth to have a short chit-chat like tonight, where Daichi is pretending that it’s high school again … imagining their days is back to end at 6 PM after club activities, not 10 PM after late work hours and traffic jams.

Sometimes he dreams a dream about the past, where Suga tells him and Asahi about his plan to go to Tokyo, but Daichi never really listens to what Suga said and keeps on staring at Suga's hand instead, never really think how small it was when they were 18. Sometimes in some of those dreams, he grabs that hand and tells Suga not to go, tells him that he doesn't need to rush and they can visit Tokyo someday together. Most of the times Daichi only gets to thinking that, maybe, he should grab that hand when it's still within his reach.

Daichi lives his mundane days willingly for days like that; days where Suga appears on his dreams or visits him on his phone calls....

"Good night to you too, Suga,” he smiles.

And then he closes the curtains.

***

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I don't know how many people know about Sarishi no Hara from Mikito-P, and this fic is not entirely made with its storyline too, but I do take the idea and atmosphere from the song. So, if you're wondering, please listen to the song and its meaning, theories, and background XD //slapped
> 
> Lastly, I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes and thank you for the reads, comments, kudos, bookmarks!


End file.
